User blog:GravityMan/Literature vs History 3: Jon Snow vs Julius Caesar
Lol. Special thanks to Joeaikman for playing Jon Snow, also I think Bran and TK for proof-reading, again I'm not sure as fuck XP Thanks to Leandro for the cover of the battle between who's the better assasinated bastard fighter of the Northern barbarians. Not the battle between two lawyers. Lol. And yes, I had to post three days early to avoid ass rape from a few battles that'll be coming out this week. Check out Cave's shit and let's get this battle started. Beat Supanova Yo Starts at 0:36 Rapper Colors This is Sam's color (cameo) Intro Jon Snow awakens with a start. “What happened?” He glances frantically around, catching sight of a beautiful familiar redhead. “Melisandre??” He feels his chest for the stab wounds, but finds none. “What….my men….they…” “They turned on you and butchered you like a hound,” Melisandre says, smiling. “But…with the help of the one true god and the body of a monster I found in the mountains, I brought you back.” “With dark magic you mean….why did you?” Melisandre winks, glancing at his crotch before speaking. “A war is coming…and a brave fighter by the name of Caesar is recruiting. He’s heard of you Jon. He wants you to fight for him.” “But…I have a duty…” All of a sudden an imposing figure clad in bronze armor sweeps into the tent in which Jon lays. “Ah there you are. My name is Gaius Julius. Snow, is that right?” “Y-yes but….” “But what?” “I have a duty to the Night’s Watch.” The man scratches his olive toned face. “Very well. Let’s settle this with words, shall we?” Lyrics Julius Caesar: You got Gaul to step to me, yet you still lack Y-grit That arrow in her back is as sharp as the points I spit On this brother of hypocrites, swore an Oath yet you still give whores the dick You grow old in the cold, yet you’re not even close to being sick! I’m distinguished! You’re an extinguished, candle in the Winds of Winter -fell any of your pride parades of traitors, while my men stay loyal to the winner Of Barbaric wars, and also countless more, of the classiest scores To rule the conquered empires of the Mediterranean shores! Every world power to behold, has paid tribute to my fame! Even an ape has my name, and look what he became! Mount you on a frozen cross, flows of hot lead down your throat, Because when it comes to pain, you know nothing Jon Snow Jon Snow: Here's a bastard, born blood of the North and I've got cold flow But my father says I'm a Stark even if I bear the name Snow I stand as a shield and a sword raised as a guard in the dark Ready for this Stark to hit hard with my brothers in arms I know more than enough to teach this Roman about captivity Whilst you slaughtered your kidnappers mine was on her knees And I showed mercy, Lord Commander with the Longclaw To maul hordes of your countrymen and fell you on the forum floor You won't want more, better close the gate, need to learn to shut it I've got a sharp diss ready to sling, and he knows just where to put it! With the Free Folk hitting Home, this duel won't get any easier Even with a Halfhand I could slay a thousand of these Little Caesars Julius Caesar: Such insolence! Apologize, faster than you did for Alan Rickman, Your scent is in the Hound’s obsession, for he’s hunting for a chicken! You’re finished! Generally when I put slaves in their graves I am met with resistance! You brag about being a Lord Commander, I’m the Dictator! How’s that dissin’? I’m skating over frozen Snow like an Olly, why can’t I face a real Mannis? Oh how the gods have damned us with your blood staining up my palace! Cross me again, I’ll leave you impaled on the side of my path But I’ll let you live to tell Melisandre you aren’t a virgin in the ass Jon Snow: The North Remembers your weak counters, a fact you can't start Lord Snow crushes Thornes in his side like a family of Karstarks With harsh bars I'll kill the boy, be more explosive than Vesuvius Like Sylla, kick your gluteus and execute all your family, Julius Edd, fetch me a block, the Lord Commander must be ruthless So bend the knee and lose your head, Caesar, and you too, Brutus You're facing a long Winter Fall, by the Old Gods I serve faithfully That means swapping this infantile leader with some other baby WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT??? YOU DECIDE!!! LITERATURE *battle cry* VERSUS HISTORYYYYY ' ' Outro The two men pause, both impressed with the other. Snow breaks the silence. “So who is it you wish to battle? I ask this out of curiosity of course.” Caesar smiles. “Have you ever heard of something called Big Brother?” Poll Who Won? Jon Snow Julius Caesar Hint for Next Battle Last Battle's Hints Explained: Planet of Apes: The main character in the reboots is named Caesar Here's Johnny: Insanity caused by snow, also the Shining is the favorite movie of Jon Snow's actor, just a tidbit in case you guys would get that Lionel Hutz: The drink in his hand is an Orange Julius Category:Blog posts